Tag Archives: humanity

Shattered

25 Jul

A piece of broken glass
That is all that’s left
As my body shattered into a million pieces
While my soul bled out
Weary and weakened

By the lies
By the egos
By the broken trust
By the burning sorrow

Where do I go now
What do I do now
These chains seem to cling on
They seem to know where I am 
And tag along

Loneliness
It feels so loud
No longer limited to 
Being a background sound

I’m tired. Of giving my heart and my trust out only for it to be thrown in my face. When a sorry is all it takes, sealed by a sad embrace. Tired of these lies.
ANGRY at the way it is.

Grateful for the Angels that God surrounds me with. 

~ ~ ~

Much Love from my shattered heart,
V

“Real”

5 Jul

I think I finally have begun to grasp the idea of ‘being real’ in acting. It actually applies a lot to life as well. Too often are we caught up in the ideals and ideas of what we think is right and how things should be in comparison to what they are and what they can be.

This more often than not leaves us disappointed and unfulfilled.

We build up expectations about things and then get disappointed when they don’t live up to what we have in mind.

We fall in love with ideals and ideas instead of what’s there in reality because things always seem better in one’s head.

The truth is that we are all walking imperfections, but that is what makes us beautiful. The internal conflicts, the external flaws, the hidden scars, the unwritten stories…all that, and so much more.

We are walking conundrums of humanity
at its finest and foulest at the same time.

Be in the ‘now’.

Be ‘real’.

It isn’t easy to address such madness and beauty.

It is scary. It is painful. It is mercilessly human.

Emotions in their basic form are so incredibly raw and messy.
Perspective vs Purpose.

To delve into the mind of someone else is an art that can drive one to the edge and back. It is a remarkable journey to the edge of madness that not everyone is able, nor willing to make.

That crush? That character? That argument? We create stories in our head, piecing together fragments that we hungrily grasp for after over analysing each and every thing that happened. We then begin to do something that can only cause nothing but trouble; we assume.

We look past logic, we look past reason, we look past that nagging feeling of doubt and decide our assumptions are the truth. Because let’s face it, fantasy more often than not trumps reality. Though if you look hard enough, ‘being real’ is still needed in the world of fantasy.

It keeps us grounded and allows us to see what actually works instead of what we feel or think should work and is working. A simple concept with complex undertones. So many layers as to what is and what isn’t, what can be and what can’t as well as what is logical and isn’t.

Being ‘Real’. Go figure.

~ ~ ~

Am I making sense? What do you think? I’d love to know in the comments below. =)
See you in the next post.

Much Love,
V

Respect

18 May

I will NOT be ignored.

Understand this.

Let it seep into the deepest corners of your soul.

I am not a diva. This is not my ego talking.

But respect given is respect earned.

Believe me when I say,

I know my worth and I will not settle for less.

So listen to these words,

I . WILL . NOT . BE . IGNORED .

 

Dear Reader, it’s been a while! I’ve missed you. Hope you are keeping well.

Much Love,
V

 

 

Jump

29 Jan

I stood there today.

On the balcony, the wind blowing in my face.

And I thought about it.

What if I jumped?

I didn’t want to. Wasn’t going to. 

I just thought about it.

 

I thought about what the view would be like as I fell.

I thought about the wind in my head.

Would it be painful? Would it be quick?

Would it be loud? I suppose it would be.

What would the reaction of the person who found me be?

 

Then I thought about my mother.

How her heart would be crushed if she came back,

and found me gone. If she looked down,

7 floors and saw me laying there on the metal roof,

Blood probably splattered everywhere.

Would I be gasping for air as my life slowly drifted away?

 

Would it be over then? Will there be silence?

Or would I be damning myself to hell.

An eternity of pain. For one moment of numbness.

What a thought. I know, it sounds scary.

The fact that I thought about it,

And the fact that I’m writing this scares me.

Am I depressed? What is this dark numbness?

 

But it was only a thought.

A drifting question, A silent notion,

Carried away with the wind as I stepped back into my hall.

I’m alright. It was only a thought.

A silent, scary thought that crossed my mind,

As I stood there today.

 

Thanks for reading,
– V

 

Humans

7 Jan
morguefile.com

morguefile.com

.

What are you and I but bones covered in flesh,

Wrapped up in packages of different colors and size,

but essentially the same; Human.

Beginnings

31 Dec

morguefile.com

.

I feel myself floating,

A change is in the air,

Is a flower blooming?

I hear the song of nature,

She is infinitely soothing. 

.

It has been a year of personal growth,

Of Dark Sides and Mistakes,

And forgotten oaths,

Of Trust and Regaining Faith,

Of Love and Truth,

And making it right, before its too late. 

.

It was a process,

Breaking Free from chains in my mind,

I still bear the bleeding scars,

They burst open from time to time.

.

We shall see for now,

Where this story goes,

What the future holds,

No one really knows.

.

The time is at hand, 

Chin up, I stand,

I have my faith,

These past experiences I will try not to waste. 

.

Happy New Year to you, dear reader.

Where ever you are and whatever you have gone through this past year in 2014, be it good or bad, trust that everything happens for a reason and you’re a champion for having gone through it.

I wish you a beautiful fresh new start and a blessed 2015 filled with Love, Joy, Health and Good Food.

Much Love,

V

Behind the Shadows

14 Dec

morguefile.com

 

It is silent, a supposed friend in the shadows.

Darkness disguised by light.

It lurks behind the curtain, surfacing ever so often to make sure it’s grip around my heart and mind is still exists. It squeezes a little, feeling my breath shorten, my nerves pulsate, my lungs struggle to live…to survive another day.

.

“I’m still here, my love. Forever and always I am a part of you.”

“No, you are but a demon in disguise. A shadow of my past. Goodbye.”

“I . WILL . NEVER . LEAVE”

.

I fall down again.

Down this tunnel of self-deprecation. Of pain. Of hate.

Of trying to pull myself to the surface but failing.

Of trying to break free of this whirlpool of shadows that clings on and pulls.

It happens time and time again.

I am so tired.

.

“Be beautiful. Cover up.”

“Speak your mind. Do not be out of line.”

“Family before friends. Friends before family.”

.

Enough. Please.

.

I feel like I am always in the wrong. Always.

There is never something right that I am doing.

Positivity is a lie. Beauty is a lie. I am my name. Illusion.

I am dying inside. Innocence lost. Time running out.

.

Poison.

Poisonous words engulfed in love running through my veins.

“Do not take this to heart. You may hate me. Think about it.”

.

Obligations. Truth. Half-lies. Disguises. Smiles.
Thoughts. Expectations. Love. Success. Failure. Tears.

I am far from perfect. This I know.

.

Am I human? Sometimes I wonder.

I always thought there was something more. Some miracle. Some story behind the door of my existence. Yet now, it seems to be slipping away.

Together with my mind. Together with my soul. Together with me.

.

What is the point? I have no magic in me anymore.
I am tired. Withered. Worn. Burnt. Spent.

Enough. Please.

Guilt.

.

These words.

These words are my light, my salvation, my purging of sorrows.

Another day. I live.

–  V