Tag Archives: Hope

Beginnings

31 Dec

morguefile.com

.

I feel myself floating,

A change is in the air,

Is a flower blooming?

I hear the song of nature,

She is infinitely soothing. 

.

It has been a year of personal growth,

Of Dark Sides and Mistakes,

And forgotten oaths,

Of Trust and Regaining Faith,

Of Love and Truth,

And making it right, before its too late. 

.

It was a process,

Breaking Free from chains in my mind,

I still bear the bleeding scars,

They burst open from time to time.

.

We shall see for now,

Where this story goes,

What the future holds,

No one really knows.

.

The time is at hand, 

Chin up, I stand,

I have my faith,

These past experiences I will try not to waste. 

.

Happy New Year to you, dear reader.

Where ever you are and whatever you have gone through this past year in 2014, be it good or bad, trust that everything happens for a reason and you’re a champion for having gone through it.

I wish you a beautiful fresh new start and a blessed 2015 filled with Love, Joy, Health and Good Food.

Much Love,

V

Advertisements

Ride

30 Dec

morguefile.com

In my mind, I am on a ride.

Infinite possibilities ahead,

Though secretly I just want to hide.

.

I feel you, slowly slipping away,

I feel us drifting,

Mismatched chess pieces,

Pushing, pulling,

Silently falling.

.

This little voice inside is screaming, whispering,

Secret thoughts, Hidden desires,

Scheming, Fleeting,

Glimpses of passion’s fire in shadow,

Hollow, Numb, Beautifully wrapped sorrow.

.

I thought I climbed that big old hill,

Though it seems to be a dream, brought on by a pill,

The feverish longing to go is consuming me still,

My brain is awake yet my heart seems to be chilled.

.

– V

Behind the Shadows

14 Dec

morguefile.com

 

It is silent, a supposed friend in the shadows.

Darkness disguised by light.

It lurks behind the curtain, surfacing ever so often to make sure it’s grip around my heart and mind is still exists. It squeezes a little, feeling my breath shorten, my nerves pulsate, my lungs struggle to live…to survive another day.

.

“I’m still here, my love. Forever and always I am a part of you.”

“No, you are but a demon in disguise. A shadow of my past. Goodbye.”

“I . WILL . NEVER . LEAVE”

.

I fall down again.

Down this tunnel of self-deprecation. Of pain. Of hate.

Of trying to pull myself to the surface but failing.

Of trying to break free of this whirlpool of shadows that clings on and pulls.

It happens time and time again.

I am so tired.

.

“Be beautiful. Cover up.”

“Speak your mind. Do not be out of line.”

“Family before friends. Friends before family.”

.

Enough. Please.

.

I feel like I am always in the wrong. Always.

There is never something right that I am doing.

Positivity is a lie. Beauty is a lie. I am my name. Illusion.

I am dying inside. Innocence lost. Time running out.

.

Poison.

Poisonous words engulfed in love running through my veins.

“Do not take this to heart. You may hate me. Think about it.”

.

Obligations. Truth. Half-lies. Disguises. Smiles.
Thoughts. Expectations. Love. Success. Failure. Tears.

I am far from perfect. This I know.

.

Am I human? Sometimes I wonder.

I always thought there was something more. Some miracle. Some story behind the door of my existence. Yet now, it seems to be slipping away.

Together with my mind. Together with my soul. Together with me.

.

What is the point? I have no magic in me anymore.
I am tired. Withered. Worn. Burnt. Spent.

Enough. Please.

Guilt.

.

These words.

These words are my light, my salvation, my purging of sorrows.

Another day. I live.

–  V

Midnight Musings #1

26 Nov

Hello, here’s another something I wrote. Hope you like it. I decided to call these little pieces my Midnight Musings. Raw, real and all over the place. It is what it is :

I’m making my way.

As we all are.

Waddling, falling, running, walking.

I try. I pick my broken self off the ground and try again.

It f*c*ing hurts sometimes.

Outside looking in. Riddled in sin.

Quiet moments elude.

Peace and truth. Laughter.

What is real? I am. Human.

Me. You. Them. Us. We. He. She.

What else? Nothing.

Walk on. Dream on. Ride on.

Cry on.

F*c*ing keep trying until you drop and can’t anymore.

We all have our demons. Its okay.

Fight. Lose. Succeed. Win. Love.

Another day. Believe.

Much love,
V

Humanity

9 Jun

Hello Reader,

Sorry I haven’t updated in a while, there have been quite a few things happening lately and I haven’t had much time but this is something I wrote two months ago when I was involved in a minor accident (only the car was hurt, everyone else was fine). That was a very trying day and I couldn’t have gotten through it without my brothers. =)

The thing is, although everything was taken care of, it was an interesting and very trying experience. It left me feeling very disappointed with some people and with a very sad feeling inside. So, that night, I wrote the piece, or whatever you call it below. I call it a rant.

Thanks for reading. =)

~~~

Humanity. What is humanity? Merely being a human?
What does it mean to be human?
Are you human? Am I? Do we merely exist?
Are we a species? Are we a race?
Pillaging, plundering, destroying as we blunder on and on,
Is fact fiction? Is love a lie? Is religion a reason? Is it truth to deny?

What is this? This darkness?
This volatile growth of hatred and glee or pain and disbelief,
Of being tied but “free”? We are numb.
Pain in the eyes of one means nothing if it doesn’t benefit another.
For entertainment, excitement, money. Jump off!
Bleed, Share, Like, Look! See! The happiness, the glee.
Tears mean nothing, Words mean nothing,
You mean nothing to me.

Who are we? Who are we becoming?
Nay, what. What, is the word.
When the plight of a person means double digits,
Words are fed, Sweat unnoticed,
Feet planted, Screams and shouts of color said out loud,
Everything pushed and pulled with all one’s might.
We are one. You and I. I’m trying to help you, why do you deny?

Yet in silence a sliver of a knife enters softly, deeply ending a life.
Oh hush, we all need to survive!
We are the same you and I. Of color and race, yet our tongues collide.
You think I am afraid?! Who the hell do you think you are?
Speaking a language as if from afar. How dare you pretend and lie to me.

Us brothers who pray to the same God yet you disagree? Then you do not see.
Hush speak not for I do not care, but when I say listen or sadly you will fare.
We are together you and I, in rainy weather I stay by your side.
Whispering  words, pulling you in, say what you want I will not refrain.
But in the end if you say no, all hell will break loose.
Fear is all you will know, pain is what you will choose.

Here is a note for the apologies exchanged,
All for the ”nothing” that you managed to gain,
Now I will go. Home and change my clothes. A father a son, a brother and lover.
I am the man! Let them all cower. For I, only I, have the power.
In numbers and in color, back off as I glower.
Trapped inside clouded minds, yet to them they’re a gift from the divine.
Stand back for you are different,
Therefore I am better and all you deserve is judgement.
Hitler?  who’s to say you’re any different.

We are human you and I.
We bleed the same red blood, hearts beating inside.
Yet in the end it doesn’t matter who you are.
Self righteous bastards who will never kneel down for a star.
Who cares if they are right? Who cares if we’re wrong?
It’s about respect and the laws of a song.

The song we sing to strangers in need when hearts and eyes no longer meet.
Where a hunger for gold sates the beast inside, but only for a moment, the blood-lust subsides. Vultures you say? Nay we are beasts.
Animals are much better at respecting each other at least.
They kill as they must, in order to survive.
Nothing more, nothing less, to feed only till the hunger subsides.

There are laws of the jungle and songs ‘they’ sing,
Of the circle of life and everything in between.
To us however that is a laugh,
How dare you step outside this beautiful glass box,
Of who we are, and who we are meant to be.
Wait, what did you say? The world doesn’t revolve around only ME??

What is humanity? Does it exist? I wish it does. I hope at the very least.
This heart cries out in silent pain.
Watching the world walk oblivious and quick past the beautiful rain.
No one cares anymore nothing is real.
Suspicion is etched in every sign and seal.

Point fingers at each other, there you see the real deal.
It is him who was wrong, she who was bad…that ‘lansi’ (snob) person,
That idiot who turned his back.
The ‘babi’ (pig) who screamed that ‘kolli’ (chicken) who ran.
That boy who watched and learnt from his old man.
It is you not I, who is evil inside.
Who disrespects caring little for a sigh.

A mirror inside is a mirror alive, yet many shatter it and cast it aside.
Look inside and hear Gods name. He is there inside, shut out by the brain.
Whatever you call Him whomever He is. Listen to the call lest it ceasts.
No! Its not me! Its either to be or not the be.
Humans, humanity, people like me!
Watch from the sides but give from within.

A smile, a touch, a dollar for one who’s luck is stick thin.
Look on one another with kindness in your tickers.
Sounds familiar? It should, but is oft drowned out by lust and shiny kickers.
Listen with your ears, but hear with your heart.
My prayer for humanity in these little parts.
Wake up and see, I pray for humanity, I pray for me.

~ End ~

So, there you have it. I hope you liked it. I felt it very deeply when I wrote this.
Don’t worry, I know the world is not all doom and gloom, but on that day I just really felt terrible. But, there is goodness out there and hope for tomorrow.
Have a good day/night wherever you are.

Much Love,
V.