Tag Archives: growth

You

4 Jul

Hello,

I miss you. I miss you so much. I’ve been feeling numb for the longest time but thoughts of you do cross my mind. Only now are they beginning to flow.

I miss you. I’m sorry. Thank you.

I’m sorry that we weren’t meant to be. I’m sorry I stopped feeling. I’m sorry I gave up on us. Even after promising that I’ll be there. I’m sorry my mind wondered and I allowed myself to stop feeding the fire.

We’ve been through so much and I’ve seen you grown so much. You’ve helped me too, you know? In so many ways, big and small.

I’m so proud of you. For allowing me to step away. For looking within and allowing yourself to learn so much from this. You are an amazing soul and I know you will soar to great heights. Of this I have no doubts. I am and will always be proud of you in each step you take.

I don’t know what to say so I’m just going to list down what I miss about you.

I miss talking to you about nothing. I miss ranting and having someone to listen to me rant. I miss your hugs. I miss laying in bed and cuddling. I miss watching movies till late and snacking.

I miss your sense of responsibility and independence. I miss showing you my art and writing and having someone appreciate them despite my weirdness. I miss you seeing me as human first and then everything else.

I miss having someone to run to and hide in a corner with when I feel the world is too much and I am not good enough. I miss forehead kisses. I miss showing you a shadow of my vulnerability. I miss being an absolute clingy brat with you.

I miss you. A part of me will always love you of that I have no doubt.

But it isn’t enough.

For that I am truly sorry. I’m sorry for hurting you. For making your voice crack. For hearing it at a decibel lower than it usually is. For hearing the undercurrent of struggle each time you spoke to me. I don’t know if I answer because I’m trying to help you or help myself.

I feel like all it does is hurt you, yet I can’t ignore you. Not you.

Thank you for taking the time to believe in me. Thank you for loving me before my identity. Thank you for seeing the beauty in my ugly. Thank you for your patience as I was picking up the pieces. Thank you for accepting my truths and not judging me. Thank you for understanding why I want to wait and for never forcing me or taking advantage even when there was an opportunity. Thank you for standing by me when no one else did. Thank you for all this and much more.

Thank you for allowing me to spread my wings.

Thank you for being a part of my journey for as long as you were in it. You were a big part of my life that I’m grateful to have experienced. Thank you for saying goodbye.

3.1.16

~ ~ ~

That was something I wrote a while ago when I was going through a breakup. We are now friends, and I am glad we made it through. =)

Hope you guys are keeping well where you are! Till the next post.

Much Love,
V