Jump

29 Jan

I stood there today.

On the balcony, the wind blowing in my face.

And I thought about it.

What if I jumped?

I didn’t want to. Wasn’t going to. 

I just thought about it.

 

I thought about what the view would be like as I fell.

I thought about the wind in my head.

Would it be painful? Would it be quick?

Would it be loud? I suppose it would be.

What would the reaction of the person who found me be?

 

Then I thought about my mother.

How her heart would be crushed if she came back,

and found me gone. If she looked down,

7 floors and saw me laying there on the metal roof,

Blood probably splattered everywhere.

Would I be gasping for air as my life slowly drifted away?

 

Would it be over then? Will there be silence?

Or would I be damning myself to hell.

An eternity of pain. For one moment of numbness.

What a thought. I know, it sounds scary.

The fact that I thought about it,

And the fact that I’m writing this scares me.

Am I depressed? What is this dark numbness?

 

But it was only a thought.

A drifting question, A silent notion,

Carried away with the wind as I stepped back into my hall.

I’m alright. It was only a thought.

A silent, scary thought that crossed my mind,

As I stood there today.

 

Thanks for reading,
– V

 

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