Archive | January, 2015

Jump

29 Jan

I stood there today.

On the balcony, the wind blowing in my face.

And I thought about it.

What if I jumped?

I didn’t want to. Wasn’t going to. 

I just thought about it.

 

I thought about what the view would be like as I fell.

I thought about the wind in my head.

Would it be painful? Would it be quick?

Would it be loud? I suppose it would be.

What would the reaction of the person who found me be?

 

Then I thought about my mother.

How her heart would be crushed if she came back,

and found me gone. If she looked down,

7 floors and saw me laying there on the metal roof,

Blood probably splattered everywhere.

Would I be gasping for air as my life slowly drifted away?

 

Would it be over then? Will there be silence?

Or would I be damning myself to hell.

An eternity of pain. For one moment of numbness.

What a thought. I know, it sounds scary.

The fact that I thought about it,

And the fact that I’m writing this scares me.

Am I depressed? What is this dark numbness?

 

But it was only a thought.

A drifting question, A silent notion,

Carried away with the wind as I stepped back into my hall.

I’m alright. It was only a thought.

A silent, scary thought that crossed my mind,

As I stood there today.

 

Thanks for reading,
– V

 

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Names

29 Jan

An illusion.

Is that who I am?

A child who simply plays pretend?

They say we live up to our names.

Gosh, Darn, it’s driving me insane.

 

I am a picture of beauty, my blemishes and scars covered in a flurry.

I am a picture of youth, my wrinkly truth hidden unseen.

I am a melting pot of talent,

My insecurity covered thickly in words apparent.

 

Illusion. I am me.

I am not what you see,

I am not one, but free.

 

I am bound by fear,

I am freed by truth,

If only I see inside,

If only I seize my youth.

.

Thanks for reading,
Much Love,
– V

Why?

28 Jan

Why? – She asked herself,

As she scrolled through the endless streams of pictures,

People laughing, hugging, singing praises,

Decked out in gold, heels, red lipstick and laces.

 

Why do I hurt myself?

Why should it matter to me what their life is like?

Why should it matter if it’s real or just a disguise?

Are people truly that happy?

 

So what if I don’t live my life in glitz or glam?

Is it better that I pretend?

Why? Why torture myself with images of dreams?

Seemingly unattainable futures that gleam.

 

A crown of hailing glory?

Or truth with a sad story?

I wish I could turn off the thoughts in my head.

I should really be sleeping, it’s really that late.

 

I wish I could. I wish. I wish.

I tell myself grabbing cookies and a dish.

I am happy for them.

I am happy but sad.

I am a circle going haywire.

Why? Why wasn’t I prepared?

.

Thanks for reading,
Love,
– V

Speak

27 Jan

Tell me.

Whisper beautiful words in my ear.

Tell me stories of joy and laughter,

Where lies are hidden in truth, encased in desire.

Once more,

Spin golden tales of love so true.

Speak again.

This time, I may believe you.

.

Thanks for reading,
Much Love,

– V

Darkness

26 Jan

I gave in again.

It was sick, sordid, seductive beyond measure.

I couldn’t say no.

The sickly sweet perfume of temptation encased me,

Tempting, teasing, hugging me close.

A moment darling, just one she whispered.

Give in.

One release, that’s all you need.

Then you’ll be able to sleep in peace.

So I did. I gave in.

This one last time I whisper in my heart of hearts…

Secretly knowing it won’t be so.

Thanks for reading.
Much Love,

– V

Machine

26 Jan

Hello reader! This was a random piece I wrote on a friend’s post on Instagram. It was a post about Pacific Rim and how she loved the machines so I was teasing her about having a crush on the leading man. 🙂

“His name is Gypsy Danger. Oohhhh yeeeaahhh”, she said as the word ‘Raleigh’ whispered through her head. Her heart fluttered at the thought of him riding Danger on the screen in front of her. 

Man and machine, flesh and metal fused together as one. Big, bad, and devastatingly beautiful. Her heart was hers no more, it belonged to the figures behind that thin layer of glass before her. More aptly, it belonged to the man behind the machine. 

That’s it. Hope you like it. It was fun to write.
Much love,
– V

Hearts

24 Jan

He speaks with a voice a soft as new snow,

A little dry, A little wet, A little low,

My heart knows his heart and his heart mine,

Our souls have been friends for a very long time,

Lady Love is here,

She sings her little song,

I weep, and laugh, and dance along,

Stay my darling, Sleep in my arms,

Feel the truth of our love through our sweaty palms,

Entwined, Together,

Our Hearts delight,

For you are mine, My Love,

And I’m yours for life.

.

Thanks for reading.
Much love,
– V